why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers
And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.
get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto
It’s like the olympic closing ceremony…
funny story about these, i had a red one on my birthday and everyone was like “wow this is the coolest fucking thing ever” and it plays music and all that, but when it came to actually eating the cake and taking the candle out, there was no off switch, so we had to smash it to pieces in the back garden to shut it up. turns out if you smash it up the music box still works. when i was in bed at 3am i could hear something so i opened the window, and it sounded like a tune you would hear in a horror movie before someone gets their body ripped to shreds and eaten. sleep well munchkins. you dont want this fucking thing.
^^^^^^^^MY MOTHER BOUGHT THIS FOR ME WHEN I TURNED 14 IT DIDNT STOP PLAYING WE DROWNED IT FOR 5 HOURS AND IT STARTED PLAYING THE SECOND YOU TOOK IT OUT OF THE WATER MY BROTHER SMASHED IT AGAINST THE WALL 5 TIMES IT DIDNT STOP MY MOTHER THREW IT OUT 3 BLOCKS AWAY
i love how every single time i see this there’s a new horror story about this candle
we have one every year for my grandma’s birthday and we always end up running it over with a car before it stops playing.
omg. why did i find this so funny?
(Source: bored-im)
what’s the richest kind of air
billionaire
i lost 2 followers from this in like 6 seconds
f is for friends who do stuff together
(Source: facebook.com)
I had this goat named Wendy and she was crazy. I can never tell if she was not photogenic or if she was just so photogenic that’s what it came out looking like.
(Source: babysitter-in-the-impala)
I lost my shoe.
WHAT HAVE I FUCKING DONE
THIS IS THE 10 MILLIONTH TIME IVE SEEN THIS POST AND IM STILL LAUGHGIN
My day needed this!
School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had cool padded swirly chairs or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just randomly clutching a cactus
remember vampires suck?
